Finding a girlfriend for Kuchiki Byakuya
by nish0
Summary: Unforeseeable circumstances had led to Matsumoto Rangiku spending a fair amount of time with the most boring captain of Gotei 13.But she knew a way to make this worth her while. She was going to help him find a girlfriend and have fun doing that.Only if she knew what was coming for her, she would've thought about it twice before starting her plotting and scheming. ByaRan.T for now.
1. Chapter 1

**Finding a girlfriend for Kuchiki Byakuya**

**chapter 1 **

"Where the hell are my clothes?" Rangiku complained irritably as she stepped out of a very popular hot spring in a nearby suburb of seireitei. She had just come out of it and was about to change when she found her clothes, that were left in a not so secured changing cottage surrounding the bath, were missing.

So now, clutching a towel as far from modestly as possible around her freshly bathed body that was letting out faint steams in the air, she muttered curses under her breath while looking around the perimeter for her missing apparel.

"If Haineko is at it again, I'll confiscate all her feathery toys this time..." she frowned while softly padding around the place, looking for any possible hiding spot under rocks and trees.

"... Senbonzakura." A deep distant voice made her look up and she almost tripped in shock.

The tall masked man stood few yards away from her, half hidden under the shades of the woods where the secluded hot spring was located, holding her clothes neatly folded in his hands. His soft long ponytailed hair was blowing in the breeze.

His dark grey eyes were watching her with such intense focus, she couldn't speak for a moment.

"Senbonzakura?" She muttered in confusion.

"Senbonzakura!" The voice still called him from somewhere behind him, she couldn't see. He took long strides towards her and held out the folded clothes. She was too confused to react.

"I have your clothes, Matsumoto Fukutaichou."

"Th... Thank you?" she stuttered, clutching the towel on her almost exposed chest.

"Senbonzakura." The captain of the sixth squad appeared behind him and halted as soon as he saw them. She watched as his eyes slowly became large when they fell on her.

"Where did you find them?" She turned back towards the masked man still looking at her intently.

"I took them." he replied nonchalantly.

Her mouth dropped in surprise.

"Why did you..."

"Senbonzakura" Kuchiki Byakuya called for him again, privy to the conversation that had just happened between the two. "Why haven't you been responding to my summoning?"

Senbonzakura completely ignored his master and continued with his heated gaze at her. "Matsumoto Fukutaichou, would you please have sex with me?"

She dumbly stared at Senbonzakura for a while.

"Senbonzakura!" his master behind him was losing his hold on his perfect calm and stoic.

"I like looking at you when you bathe in the hot spring, I had been watching you for many days and I think I love you. Now I would like to do more." Senbonzakura's calm and monotonous voice continued with his offer of amour. "Since you don't have any clothes on right now, we can quickly do it."

With the corner of her eyes she saw the Captain Kuchiki pressing his fingers down on his temple. "Senbonzakura!"

And she couldn't stop herself anymore as a fit of giggle took over her and next thing she knew she was crouching on the ground holding her stomach, laughing her ass off.

Both man stared at the almost naked woman knelt on the ground, vibrated in the silent bout of laughter.

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou please excuse Senbonzakura." She heard the most unyielding captain of Gotei 13 sounding almost apologetic.

She looked up at him then looked back at Senbonzakura. "Don't worry about it Kuchiki Taichou." she stood up and with one swift move snapped her long hair from one side to another, ready to turn back.

"About the offer Senbonzakura." Her face was still lit in humour as she eyed both the master and his manifested Zanpakutō. "I don't make it my habit to say yes to everyone who asks that of me. It's not that easy. Also, you're handsome and all but I do require my man to be... at least a man, not a manifested Zanpakutō spirit. And that's the least of it."

She paused for bit then lightly touched his arm, "in the future maybe you can try taking that mask off before offering your love to anyone Senbonzakura. I know Haineko will loved to know how you look underneath it." She winked and grabbed the clothes he was still holding.

"See you around Kuchiki Taichou. Do try to keep this little pervert in control" with her suggestive smile she left him breathing in the fresh smell of sea salt.

Byakuya stood watching the departing figure of this illusive woman who was showing way more skin than he had seen in decades and not being remotely shy about it. He frowned and realised Senbonzakura was about to follow her footsteps as she disappeared behind the door of one if the changing cottages.

"Senbonzakura." He held out the sheath of his Zanpakutō. "Return. Now."

He watched the eyes of his master for a moment, his silence threatened another outbreak of defiance from him.

Byakuya took in a deep breath, "this is an order Senbonzakura. You have troubled the woman enough."

Senbonzakura was a little concerned. But Byakuya couldn't tell whether it was the worry that his chances of getting laid might thin out due to this '_trouble_' he had caused, or it was the slightly angry deathglare that emanated from his master towards him, that made him evaporate into thin air and return as the Zanpakutō in the sheath.

After the Zanpakutō rebellion and the chaos, the 12 squaders were still working hard to find an acceptable way to control and eventually stop the Zanpakutō spirit's wilful manifestation. Although some of the aspects can be controlled by the masters, complete domination was yet to be achieved.

While tucking his Zanpakutō and its sheath back in its place, Byakuya decided with a frown to never to let Senbonzakura loose again. Byakuya was his master and Senbonzakura had never before defied him. He was sure if he was strict enough with his orders, nothing like this would happen again.

Before turning away to leave the woods at the perimeter of the hot spring, Byakuya spotted the strawberry blonde lieutenant of the tenth squad reappeared from the cottage. Their eyes met for a split second before she threw her shiny hair in the air, and strolled away with her usual slow glamorous gait towards another route. He thought with a little bit of uncertainty, that she might've flickered an unreadable mysterious smirk at his directions before disappearing within the bushes.

...

"Matsumoto" Toshiro eyed him suspiciously. "What is this?"

"Senbonzakura." she lazily spoke from her spot at the couch.

"What is he doing here?"

"My question exactly." it was Haineko who spoke from the other side of Toshiro.

"Running errands that I'm clearly too busy to do." She yawned. "Senbonzakura. Could you bring me a bottle of juice?"

He bowed sightly the disappeared out the door of the tenth squad captains office.

"Matsumoto. What the hell are you up to?"

"Come on Taichou, just having a little fun. He offered to do anything if I let him touch my boobs." She rolled her eyes.

"What?" Toshiro yelled red faced. "Why would you do that? Have you lost all your sense of shame?"

Before Rangiku could say anything Kuchiki Byakuya stormed inside the office. "Matsumoto Fukutaichou. May I have a word?"

She hid a sniffle and got up from the couch.

"I would appreciate it if you stop trying to turn my Zanpakutō into a slave of your will."

"Kuchiki Taichou, I'm not forcing him to do anything against his will."

"You have offered to let him touch your...your…" he stopped abruptly.

Her eyes were large, blue and humorous. "Breasts? Not exactly. I said I will think about it." She said in a teasing way.

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou, Senbonzakura is a Zanpakutō. He is not nor will he ever be a real human. His physical manifestation has only made him more confused about his urges. It is also something that we need to address with the 12th squad. He isn't capable of knowing what to say or how to act in situations like these. What I'm trying to say is that, having a woman like you, distracting him, is only making him more confused..."

"Woman like me?" She interrupted in a seriously tone. "Please tell me whatever you meant by that Kuchiki Taichou." Her voice was cold suddenly.

He paused briefly. "Woman like you, allusive and attractive in ... that way."

She thought she was going to choke in shock. _That way_. She started giggling. "And what way is that?"

He looked uncomfortable. Extremely.

A footstep appeared from behind them and both turned to find Senbonzakura holding a bottle of fruit juice. "Matsumoto Fukutaichou here's the juice bottle you wanted."

She could almost hear Kuchiki Byakuya sighing out in frustration.

"Senbonzakura. Have you forgotten that it's the time for my daily practice?"

"No master. I have not."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Assisting Matsumoto Fukutaichou with whatever she needs of me."

"Why?"

Rangiku watched with anticipation at this very odd conversation that was happening in front of her.

"Because I like being near her. She has a very nice body that makes me want to be near her all the time and she smells like..."

"Okay stop." She couldn't watch the misery and confusion in Kuchiki Taichou's face anymore. "Senbonzakura you should go with your master. If it was Haineko defying me, I wouldn't like it either."

Byakuya looked at her with something similar to surprise in his eyes. He never expected any form of understanding or selflessness from her.

"Will you come with me?" Was that a slight plea in Senbonzakura's voice? Her eyes darted towards Kuchiki Byakuya. He looked even more uncomfortable, if that was at all possible.

"I think that's a great idea." Toshiro arrived at the spot at that exact moment. "In return would Kuchiki Taichou let my lieutenant spar with you a little? She needs the practice, badly. I'm sick of seeing her lazy form on the couch everyday doing nothing else but sleeping and drinking."

Byakuya thought for a second. He prefers his practice session to be quiet and alone, then again he would have none of that if Senbonzakura was busy elsewhere, stalking behind this woman.

He nodded affirmatively then sighed. "Would you like to join us Matsumoto Fukutaichou?"

"Can she join us tomorrow as well? And the day after?" Senbonzakura was suddenly talkative. He sounded excited even.

Hitsugaya Toshiro looked like he had just found a box full of candy and undone paperwork. Anything to get that lazy lieutenant off his couch.

"Kuchiki Taichou. Please feel free to practice with my lieutenant as many times as you want. Take her with you every day if you need to."

The excitement in her captain's voice made Rangiku frown. "Haineko isn't here..."

"I'm here." Chirped Haineko from behind Hitsugaya Taichou. She was more than happy to interrupt Senbonzakura's little stalk sessions of Rangiku. Rangiku sighed first then seemed irritated, "what am I getting out of this? I don't have to do anything for Kuchiki Taichou or his..."

"Matsumoto. What you're getting out of this is not my foot in your..." Toshiro stopped mid-sentence and controlled his sudden outburst. "Listen, you have been in worse form than you ever had and as your captain it makes me concerned and honestly, a little bit embarrassed. So either you spar with Kuchiki Taichou whenever he's free or you do all my paperwork."

Yikes! Paperwork. No deal.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I will spar with Kuchiki Taichou if he'll have me."

She wasn't sure but both Senbonzakura and Haineko suddenly seemed to have perked up. She knew Haineko was just happy at her chance of being near Senbonzakura. And Senbonzakura was happy to be near her. She sighed and reflected on how being beautiful, sexy, smart, witty and overall perfect had its down sides too.

She inwardly exasperated in frustration. This was going to be a chore. Everyone knew Kuchiki Taichou was the biggest killjoy in seireitei, most likely in the entire soul society too. If she was going to spend a part of her day with this guy, she needed to make this fun, somehow.

"I take it that you prefer to practice alone." She asked as she walked next to the Captain of the sixth squad, heading towards the training grounds.

He silently walked. He couldn't believe how he now needed to drag this woman along to his daily practice. This was supposed to be his alone time. The 12 squaders needed to hurry up and find a way to unmanifest these Zanpakutō spirits.

"No answer?" Her voice raised a little, "you know you should stop being rude to everyone. That's the reason why your poll has dropped significantly."

"My poll?"

"The shinigami women's associations' most desirable man of seireitei poll." She smirked.

He frowned. He had never heard of such thing.

"The only reason Ukitake Taichou is at the number one spot is because of his niceness. You've dropped down to the bottom 5, I'm afraid." She said it like it was a serious issue.

He couldn't believe how brainless the woman was if that was all she thought about on a work day.

He refused to dignify that with a response.

"Stop staring at her ass..." Haineko's heated voice startled both of them and they turned around to find the pair of trailing Zanpakutō spirits.

"It's nice to look at" Senbonzakura admitted without the slightest change in his tone. Rangiku giggled at Haineko's angry face. Her crush on Senbonzakura was known to everyone throughout the whole seireitei except these pair of knuckleheaded master and sword.

Byakuya's eyes involuntarily travelled towards the part of her body in question. And he found himself agreeing with Senbonzakura for a split second before mentally chastising himself for doing so.

"As I was saying..." she delved back into the previous conversation to Byakuya's dismay. "If you could stop being such a prick all the time and maybe practice some, I don't know, social skills, I bet you would be number one in no time."

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou I assure you I do not care the slightest about ever becoming number one most desirable man of seireitei according to shinigami women's association's poll." he hid his annoyance well.

"We all know that." She rolled her eyes. "Personally, I don't think you even deserve to be on the list with that attitude of yours." Her dusty blue eyes looked at him with all the mystery in the world. "At least Senbonzakura is putting himself out there."

Was she trying to compare him with Senbonzakura? As if admitting his ridiculous crush on her was somewhat heroic.

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou. I fail to see the need to as you say it..._put myself out there_."

"Don't get me wrong. I don't give two shits about you or your love life. I'm just worried about poor Rukia. As an influential member of the shinigami women's association, and being a woman in general I wanted give you some free advice for her."

"Rukia? What does she have to do with this?"

"Nothing much. But I did hear disturbing rumours about you and her around few places." She raised an eyebrow and eyed him. "It was especially made worse when the news of her being the splitting image of your late wife spread out. She's too young to be dealing with rumours like that. Especially involving her own brother. But of course she is not your blood relative. So if there was any truth to it..."

"Matsumoto" her arm was suddenly in his grasp and the grip almost dug into her skin painfully as he pulled her towards him. Her eyes widen at seeing the unnatural scowl on his face. She had finally done it. She had pissed the cold hearted captain of seireitei off real good. A part of her was triumphant at her success.

The other part shivered in cold fear as she looked at his grey eyes afire in rage.

"How dare you say such filth about my sister?"

His voice was deep as he growled out the threat. Instantly Senbonzakura was standing in between them, with his arms around Rangiku protectively, pulling her away from Byakuya. "Master. Please do not address Matsumoto Fukutaichou like this."

Byakuya stood with his fingers clenched into fists, eyeing the surprised Rangiku in Senbonzakura's arms.

To further his surprise, she pushed Senbonzakura aside heatedly, "let me go. Are you a real Zanpakutō spirit? Defying your master like this?" She scolded him. Both the master and the sword eyed her in astonishment. "If you were mine I swear I would kick your ass so hard..." She stopped and breathed in.

Byakuya's anger was momentarily forgotten.

She carelessly brushed her cloths and said casually, "and Kuchiki Taichou, I didn't say any of that filth. I'm merely pointing out what I've heard. I know Rukia. That little brat only has eyes for rebel bad boys like... " she eyes him suspiciously. "… I won't mention any names. I don't want anyone to die at my account."

Byakuya had finally calmed down and his cold face reappeared. "Pardon me." He muttered and Rangiku smirked at that. He quickly resumed his walk, she had to almost run to catch up.

After a long silent walk he asked hesitantly, "That rumour... has it really been spread?"

She watched him curiously then nodded in agreement. "Mmhmm. But there is a solution." She smiled wickedly. "All you need to do is get a girlfriend."

Yes. That would be fun. Rangiku's insides filled up in mischievous delight.

His eyed widen. _A girlfriend_? Where do you even find such thing?

She stifled another giggle. "Don't worry Kuchiki Taichou. If you want, I can help." her mouth widen with a smile. Byakuya felt a dread inside his stomach.

"And when you say _help _what do you mean exactly?" His monotonous voice had a very faint pitch.

She continued her toothy smile which threaten to turn her large blue eyes into a squint, "I will find a girlfriend for you."

...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou." After a long pause Kuchiki Byakuya, the captain of the sixth squad continued in his pitchless tone, with much effort on his part "I don't think that is needed. Nor is it wanted by me for that matter. I would appreciate it if you don't assume to…"

Rangiku heard none of that. She thoughtfully inspected the clouds above and muttered, "I think I have the right gal for you Kuchiki Taichou. Yes… I think she would be perfect…"

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou… are you listening to me?" he continued without any sign of irritation in his voice, which was how he usually sounded, but this particular situation required him to actively exhort his energy.

"Unn…?" as if she had just awoken from a slumber. "Were you saying something?"

"I was saying that it won't be necessary for you do this."

"Oh?" her eyes were playful. "You already have someone, huh? Tell me who." She scooched close to him conspiratorially.

His eyes widen a little at the accusation. "No, I do not."

She flipped her plump lower lip and pouted, "How mean Kuchiki Taichou. You had my hopes up for a moment there. Fine. At least tell me what kind of woman you like? "

Kuchiki Byakuya had no clue what to-do. And thankfully he didn't have to further resist the woman's excited prying into his non-existent love life anymore as they had arrived at the sixth squad practice field.

"We are starting our practice now." he announced with a fair bit of relief in his part. Rangiku smirked and decided to let him be. For now.

"Senbonzakura" he called as he held his sheath out. Senbonzakura looked at Rangiku and would've sighed if he was human. Instead, he nodded slightly at her direction and dissipated into thin air. She rolled her eyes.

Byakuya was just about to tell her to sit back and watch, when he saw, with amazement, her taking off her scarf and placing it neatly on the side before giving a look at Haineko, who also rolled her eyes and dissipate, just like Senbonzakura.

With one swift move, she swung Haineko from her back and step towards him, "shall we?"

He took a moment to ponder whether this would be a good idea. Then again he did make a deal with Hitsugaya Taichou. Being the witness of the conversation between Rangiku and her captain not so very long ago, he didn't expect her all energetic and pumped up at the thought of sparring with him. She could hardly be called lazy at that moment.

"Very well" he took a step forward. Let's just get it over and done with.

This wasn't going well, Byakuya thought with irritation. He was expecting to beat her within the first few minutes before getting on with his practice in peace. Instead he was struggling, Senbonzakura was refusing to attack in full force against Rangiku. He was using twice as much effort to only get his shikai up and running.

"Anything the matter Kuchiki Taichou? I've never personally crossed blades with you, but I do feel like you're taking it too easy on me. You should know just because I'm gorgeous, doesn't mean I am useless. I can fight as well as any Shinigami here. So please do me the honour of fighting with me properly." She started the statement with honest question in her tone and ended it with a note of annoyance.

"I'm afraid Senbonzakura is refusing to work at full strength against you." Byakuya sounded disappointed, he had never faced a situation like this before.

His eyes widen a little when she suddenly stopped and sheathed her sword. "In that case I want no part in this."

Byakuya's mouth dumbly slipped out, "why?"

She glided herself to the edge of the practice ground and picked up her scarf, "if a fight is not fair, there no point going through with it." She looked at him over her shoulder. Strangely, a small part of him was impressed by her battle ethics.

She brushed her stunning hair to the side as she fixed her clothes. "And if you look anymore uncomfortable, I do fear you'd be mistaken for the grumpy cat." He didn't even know what that was as he watched her giggle silently.

Suddenly, he was hopeful that this would be the end of this unfortunate partnership he had with this woman.

She slowly and artfully exited herself from the training ground with a swish of her scarf following behind her.

He found himself watching her leave and wondered why it was that he was suddenly interested in this woman. This was very unlike him.

"Oh Kuchiki Taichou" suddenly her voice floated back from the periphery of his vision. Her golden hair popped into view from the gate. "Don't think I had forgotten about my promise to find you a girlfriend. You're still on my list." With a wink that sent a cold chill down his spine, she disappeared.

He didn't like this feeling he was getting inside his stomach. Not even a bit.

...

"Ken chan" her voice was sweet as honey as she whipped and slashed the steamy air around him where he stood with his sweaty muscly body and the evilest grin seen on the face of the earth. "I ordered you to bend down and beg for it. You broke the rule. You've been a bad boy ken chan."

Another sharp noise filled the air as Unohana Retsu in a pair of thigh length boots and black leather suit slashed the whip against the air. "Are you ready for the punishment I have for you?" Her exposed skin took a sheen in the little light from candles that surrounded them.

"Yes mistress" his big voice vibrated the stale air in that secluded apartment no one knew about. He continued grinning and the bells at the end of his spiky hair jiggled as he moved. He crouched down on the floor wearing his tight, patched up clown pants with his upper body, bare of any form of clothing. On his face, he wore white makeup and a fake red ball nose. "Please punish me." His grin widened as he watched Unohana Retsu move noisily around him on her 6 inch high heels.

Rangiku watched like a hypnotised animal through the tiny hole on the wall of the building adjacent to the alley. The alley was dark, dirty and full of things she could not and did not want to see. All she needed was the best gossip blast ever for an article in the new magazine the Shinigami women's association had planned on publishing. She had no idea her snooping around a weak gossip trail involving Unohana and Kenapachi taichous could lead to this and seeing it firsthand she found no clue to what to make of this S & M and clown fetishism of the two captains in question.

She was going to have a helluva time explaining all these to her fellow women's association members. Quickly she scribbled up something in her little notepad.

When she looked back into the hole, both the captains were looking at her direction.

Crap. Run Rangiku run.

She turned and ran. She took a total of three turns around the almost blindingly dark street corners when she speedily collided with someone and fell on her bottom.

"Ouch ouch ouch..." she scowled and rubbed her backside. When she finally looked up to see who broke her run and most likely was going to cost her life in the hands of the two strongest captains of Gotei 13, she almost gasped in surprise.

"Kuchiki Taichou?" She exclaimed as she picked herself up from the ground, brushing the back of her yukata.

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou" he was in his casual clothes too. "What are you doing in a place such as this, this time at night?" The cool evening air played around with his sleek black hair that had no sign of nobility in them without the silvery metal thingamajigs.

"Oh nothing of consequence" she muttered uncomfortably and stood up. Trying to look as unshaken as possible. With a slightly worried look towards the direction, she came from she looked back at him. "What are you doing here, Kuchiki Taichou?"

"I like going for long walks after work." He sounded more bored than she was after hearing this.

"How lovely." She said sarcastically. When she was sure that Unohana and Kenpachi Taichous weren't following her she was back to her normal self.

His steely grey eyes watched her suspiciously before turning to leave, she stopped him.

"Umm Kuchiki Taichou." He looked at her.

She took in a deep breath. Yes, the answer to all her question was right in front of her eyes.

Kuchiki Byakuya.

Only he can save her from this dangerous and potentially life threatening course she was taking for an article in a magazine. Definitely, this bombshell information of what Unohana and Kenpachi Taichous get up to after dark would prove to be more than just news worthy, and surely bring a lot of praise for the journalist, but it was equally dangerous and can cause her life. If she needed an alternative to this, she would need to find a story that was fun, entertaining and on demand amongst the readers, who are mostly gossiping women.

It was true that she volunteered to find the guy a girlfriend, which would definitely be a challenge. But she was only half serious then, just a way to make things a little more entertaining during their insufferable practice sessions. But now! Now this could work to her benefit. It would definitely be less life threatening than stalking the two strongest captains.

"May I join you in this walk?" She tried to contain her joy and excitement.

She couldn't be sure in the dark, but his eyes might've narrowed a little. "These street are for anyone. You can walk anytime, to go anywhere you want."

"No, I meant, to join you for the walk. You know, to talk and take steps side by side for the shared purpose of keeping each other company. "

His supposed narrow eyes narrowed further. "I like walking by myself."

She almost rolled her eyes at him. As if she didn't know that. Who would try to keep this stick in the mud company?

She then smiled at him sweetly and stood next to him, gesturing with her eyes to start walking. "It's not that hard. Just take a step first and follow that by another one. And I'll do the same here next to you."

This time he was getting the point. He took the said first step and stated, "do not assume that I don't understand your jests Matsumoto fukutaichou. I understood your meaning the first time you asked. But there were only so many ways I can refuse a woman's advances without being blunt."

"Excuse me?" Her mouth dropped. _Refuse her? Was he bloody serious?_ She followed after him and spoke rather heatedly. "My advances? Seriously Kuchiki Taichou, even if someone paid me I wouldn't make advances on you." She snapped. She couldn't believe this guy. Her? Making advances on him?

He decided to let this thing slide. She was awfully interested in his personal life this morning, and now she wanted to walk with him. He knew how to read signs.

He stayed poised, elegant and in control. She felt slightly intimidated. "In that case why do you want to walk with me?"

Yes. Very good question indeed. But she couldn't answer honestly, can she?

"Well as you recall our little conversation earlier today, I volunteered to help you find a girlfriend. Or at least someone good enough to date."

Girlfriend? Date? God, he was hoping the woman was too preoccupied with her god-knows-what other projects and had forgotten about it. Sadly, he wasn't that lucky.

"Remember? You were concerned about the rumours involving you and Rukia." He clenched his fists tight at that. "I told you I have a woman in mind. I think you'd be perfect for her." She grinned, setting the anger she felt a moment ago, aside. She needed this story.

"I never agreed to anything like that." His steps were picking up more speed, almost attempting to out-walk her.

"I am going to have a chat with her tomorrow evening at the women's association meeting. Well if she shows up. She doesn't have much spirit for the women's association related things."

Maybe he should consider looking into dating this woman in question. Anyone with enough sense would see the pointlessness to these projects these Shinigami women's associations members get into. He shook the thought out of his head again.

"I thought I told you I do not need you to…"

"Oh come now Kuchiki Taichou. I promise it will be fun. And think about poor Rukia." She made the saddest face. "How relieved she would be to be rid of those awful rumours."

Byakuya was in dilemma.

"_Can master make a date for me with Matsumoto Rangiku_?" Senbonzakura's voice from after today's practice ringed inside his head. "_I will do anything_."

_Senbonzakura_. He started this, maybe he could finish it too.

"Senbonzakura wants a date with you." He casually interrupted the conversation that was mostly revolving around him and turned its focus on her.

Rangiku halted. This was going to be a hard bargain. It was odd to see that the man did have some cleverness to him. She had always thought he was all rule-books, expensive clothing and not enough anything else.

_Pro: she could become the next legend after the almighty Lisa sensei when she originated the gossip involving captain commander and his secret hobby of hairstyling. He had a closet full of wigs that Sasakibe Fukutaichou regularly dusted and cleaned._

_Con: she was going to have to date Senbonzakura._

It would just be a date. She won't really have to do much with him. The pro was very convincing. An article about a cold hearted bastard finding love in another equally cold hearted female bastard or a sweet soft small town girl, or any girl for that matter, (because it's Kuchiki Byakuya. Come on!), had the potential to even become a movie in the future. This was too tempting to refuse.

"Ok fine. If you let me find you the right girl, I will take Senbonzakura out on a date." She compromised.

After a long moment of pause he pointed out, "one date will not satisfy him I'm afraid. I want him to rid of his crazy obsession with you."

She bit her lips as she eyeballed him. "It's not that crazy you know. I have plenty of men behaving like that around me. Frankly, it gets kind of old." He watched with surprise as he spotted a sigh escaping her mouth as she looked a little bitter. "Anyway, how about a deal. I will take Senbonzakura out on same number of dates I will be sending you in. And you can use these dates in return of your precious alone practice sessions with him. That sounds fair?"

He thought and he thought, and he thought as he continued walking alongside this very frighteningly clever and mischievous woman with long golden hair, which was kind of distracting as they flew towards his face in the breeze. He wanted to know what was going on in her head.

_Pro: if this rumour thing was true and if dating someone would put a stop to it, he should by all means do everything his power to defend his sister's honour._

_Con: dating someone. He hadn't the slightest clue._

_Pro: Senbonzakura would hopefully stop pining after her and on top of that, the lure of a date with her could make him behave._

The pros won him over. "Very well. If you agree to take Senbonzakura out on dates, I would do as you say about dating this woman you have in mind."

She grinned widely. "Good boy." She muttered.

"What?" He stopped and she quickly raised her voice, "I meant, that's great Kuchiki Taichou."

She could barely contain her excitement.

"But before, I need to make sure you have the right wardrobe…"she started going off the topic when a sudden prickling feeling on her neck made her turn around. "Is that…"

"Is that Unohana Taichou and Kenpachi Taichou's spirit pressure I sense?" Byakuya interrupted.

"Crap crap crap. Run Kuchiki Taichou." She grabbed his arm and flash stepped away from the place, only to stumble and fall on her knees after the first jump.

"You have to hold on properly Kuchiki Taichou…"

"What is the meaning of this" he irritably pulled his arm away from her grasp. "Why are you taking me on a flash step?"

"Because if I don't, we'd both be dead at the hands of Unohana Taichou and Kenpachi Taichou. Please hold on to me."

He frowned and studied her face. The desperation looked genuine.

"Dead by their hands? Why would they..."

"No time to explain. Please, come with me." She held out her hand.

"Very well. But allow me." before she could refuse his offer, his arms encircled around her waist and she was flying faster than she ever had. She was afraid she was going to fall.

When they landed her arms were hugging him in return.

Suddenly she was aware of how humanly warm his body was. It felt kind of pleasant. It was almost, nice. This confused her thoughts inside her head.

He gently loosened his grip around her waist before ensuring she was standing on her feet.

"We're here." he announced but she was still holding onto him. Whether she was still afraid to fall or it was something else, perplexed her a little. She hid her face under her hair that fell like a cascade from her head to his shoulder and his back.

He cleared his throat again uncomfortably and she was back. Quickly she pulled herself off him and straightened up her clothes and hair. "Wow. That was fast." Her voice sounded a little croaky.

The compliment pleased him a little as they stood facing each other in front of the tenth squad. "What happened between you and the two captains?" He asked again.

"Nothing." She was still shaken up from the flight, and for the first time in his presence, she was having trouble finding words to continue the conversation. After a moment of silence he figured it was his queue to leave. "I will not pry. Good night Matsumoto Fukutaichou."

"Kuchiki Taichou." She smiled at him as he turned to look at her. "You don't have to worry too much about the dates I plan to set up for you. I will not find anyone unsuitable."

Her words didn't assure him much but he nodded. The deal had already been made and he needed his Zanpakutō to behave. Defending his sister's honour was also important.

She watched him disappear from her view and wondered what this weird feeling that nagged at the pit of her stomach. She continued to wonder about their flight before finding her way back to her apartment.

…

"He's really handsome too." She carelessly bit her nails as she sat across from captain of the second division, Soi Fon who eyed her suspiciously. "It would be a shame to waste such opportunity."

"I'm not sure what your point is Matsumoto" said Soi Fon, always so angry.

"I mean if anyone wanted to make someone jealous and needed a beard, I don't see a better opportunity than this. Now that he is actually looking for a date, this offer might not be available for too long." her tone was that of a certain scheming hairy yellow haired bastard Soi Fon knew very well and didn't like, to say the least.

Rangiku continued enthusiastically, "if I knew someone around the Gotei 13, or maybe a visitor from the world of the living I wanted to make jealous, I would totally use him."

Only hours ago the Shinigami women's association discussion involved a rumour of the arrival of two estranged acquaintances of Soi Fon. It was still fresh in both of their memories.

But Soi fon wasn't easily fool. "Speak clearly Matsumoto. Cough it out."

Rangiku watched her face for a second before sitting up straight. "So here's the deal. I want you to go out on a date with Kuchiki Taichou."

"Why would I do such thing?"

"Because I think you would be the perfect match for him. And mostly because if you want to make either Urahara san or Yoruichi san jealous, I can never tell which one you like, love or hate, this would be the perfect opportunity. And I was kind of hoping that you would end up enjoying this too. You never know, a blooming relationship might just be what you need to cure you from that strange obsession with cats."

"Strange? I beg your…" before she could fire up Rangiku raised her hands and tried to calm her down.

"No. Not strange. Perfectly normal. I mean who wouldn't like cats. Look at me, I'm practically a cat myself and I can bet every man here would give an arm and a leg for my company. Anyway, are you in?"

"What's in it for me?"

"Listen Soi Fon Taichou. I want to appeal to that heart inside your chest. The very cold, stony heart that I'm sure once knew how to love and be loved. Keep an open mind about this, will ya? The guy has been lonely for a long time, ever since his wife died. On top of that his own sister reminds him of his dead wife, I mean how torturous can life get? He needs a little sweetness in his life. And who better to do that than you? Well maybe not that much sweetness but the perfect amount for him. I promise if you hate it, you don't have to deal with him again."

Soi Fon started thinking. It would be nice to have someone. And Kuchiki was a gentleman as far as she knew.

_Pro: seeing her with another man could make the yellow haired bastard a little less condescending. He always acts all high and mighty just because he has Yoruichi san next to him. Now she will have an equally strong captain by her side._

_Con: dating him? She hadn't the slightest clue how to date. She heard it involved physical proximity. She could almost throw up._

_Pro: he was equally cold hearted and steely faced as her. He might just be the only man who she could use to finally get rid of these lesbian rumours about her that went around in this place._

Soi Fon continued thinking in silence when Rangiku played her last card.

"I will throw in some pictures I took of Yoruichi san in her cat forms."

"Done."

...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Kuchiki Taichou" she slammed the door to his office open and stormed inside. Behind her, Senbonzakura, without the slightest sign of remorse anywhere on his feature, followed her in. "Guess _who _I found peeping outside the women's association's swimming pool?"

For the first time in his life, Byakuya was ashamed. He was ashamed that his pride and joy, his Zanpakutō, was a peeping tom and he could do nothing about it.

"Matsumoto Fukutaichou." He stood up after glaring at Senbonzakura for a moment, who was too busy playing with a strand of her hair to notice his fiery gaze, and choked out a semi apology, "I am regretful about Senbonzakura's actions, and want to assure you that this will never happen..."

She swatted Senbonzakura away from her hair like he was nothing more than a fly, "How the hell are you going to assure me of that if you don't even know where he is all day? Do you know if the other girls find out about his little hobby, he would be locked up?" She made her snappy remark.

Byakuya stood with a very rare and very faint guilty look on his face. "Senbonzakura. This behaviour is highly inappropriate..."

She heatedly interrupted, "I was walking back from the pool and found him hiding behind a tree. Kuchiki Taichou, seriously, be glad it was me who found him and not someone else. This could be dangerous. The girls aren't as comfortable with their bodies as I am, and if they knew someone is spying on them, they would be sure to report this."

He let out a loud breath. "I do not want that to happen." Feeling the unfamiliar unnatural feeling of being helpless in his stomach.

"But this isn't the only thing I wanted to talk about." She finally calmed down then met his eyes with a faint sparkle in her own. "Senbonzakura, could you please leave us?"

"Why?" He asked.

"I have to talk to Kuchiki Taichou."

"Do you like my master more than me Matsumoto Fukutaichou?"

Both the captain and the lieutenant stared at each other at that and Rangiku suddenly broke into a loud laughter. "Not even a chance. Listen Senbonzakura. If you still want that date with me, I suggest you to listen to your master's orders. And if I ever catch you snooping or following me or doing anything weird, the deal is off. Now leave."

He watched her for a moment then looked at Byakuya. Even though he didn't like his Zanpakutō being scolded by another, Byakuya gestured him to leave the room.

She looked at him after Senbonzakura left the office. "So here's the thing. This incident doesn't have to be a big deal. It can easily slip my mind, and I can easily forget to mention it anyone. And I don't really care if he watches me in my bathing suit." Her lips curled into a smirk," but here's what I do care about. I really want this date thing to work out."

Byakuya nodded. "Likewise. I think if you can show him that a date with you is not very enjoyable, he will get over this infatuation..."

"I am not talking about Senbonzakura." She leaned towards him over the table and with a low voice she almost whispered, "I'm talking about the date I set up for you, Captain. It's this Saturday."

Byakuya froze and with unease he watched her face leaning close with a wide grin on it, "This Saturday?"

"Yes. So I hope you have an outfit ready for dinner at the Sakura petal, at 6 pm sharp. I've already made the reservation. Also, I think we should brush up on the basics of dating first."

He looked at the pile of paperwork in his desk. "Matsumoto Fukutaichou, I have work to do..."

"Kuchiki Taichou" she snapped, "be a little serious will ya? This isn't work. This is your life we're talking about." She shook her head disapprovingly before bouncing back to her normal self. "Don't you want to be happy? I mean how long has it been since you had anyone in your life?"

55 years. He had counted.

"I'm sure it's too many to count. Anyway. Let's get back to the topic. The basics of dating. The most important thing for you to remember is, that you are the man. So it's your responsibility to make this date work." she slowly walked towards the couch at the opposite of his desk, acting like a teacher in a class full of idiots, making herself comfortable.

He frowned. It didn't seem that she was leaving anytime soon. He reluctantly took a seat opposite of her and in his head tried to make a list of tasks he was going to have to make up for.

"To make a date successful..." She began.

Byakuya felt a headache was about to start soon. He had used all his energy to keep up his eye contact as she continued on with her lecture as if he was a little child being taught manners. This was practically demeaning.

Her voice was turning into blurs and the content of her words were so meaningless to him that his thoughts started drifted off on its own. He started noticing things that weren't her words. Her eyes for instance, he noticed how the light was reflecting on them and made them sparkle like some kind of precious stone. Her hair was wavy and silky at the same time, strands of thick semi curls were sliding off each other around her face, as if the frame her in gold.

"... Do you understand?" the last few words registered in his head. His eyes regained their focus on her.

He nodded solemnly and made a humming noise which he had hoped would pass as a 'yes'. He didn't want any repetition of anything she was going on about.

She frowned. "You weren't really listening were you?" she pouted and he realised her lips were the colour of pinkish peach. Were they naturally like that or were they painted? He had heard of such cosmetic material that can do that to women's lips. He had spotted few odd pieces here and there in Rukia's room.

"Kuchiki Taichou!" he was dragged back to the present by her voice. She rolled her eyes. "Seriously! Soi Fon Taichou is very particular about things. She won't like it if you don't behave properly…"

"Soi Fon? You had set me up on a date with Soi Fon?" he was surprised. Mostly because, he had no idea Soi Fon would have any interest in dating him. If he was notorious for his unfriendliness, Soi Fon could easily match him, even surpass. And if this wasn't something Soi Fon wanted, he didn't think Rangiku had it in her power to convince a woman like her.

"Yes. Is that a problem? I thought because she is a captain and from a noble family, she should be a good match for you. And there is the compatible personality thing, you guys are so alike. I wanted to keep to your taste."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "I do not have a problem with dating Soi Fon Taichou. As long as she is willing. "

She flashed him a smile. "She is willing, why wouldn't she. You're a catch. Now, first order of business, tell me how would you treat Soi Fon Taichou when you see her?"

"Like I usually do…"

"No." she stopped him. "You don't treat her like you usually do. This is a date. It needs to be sweet and special. You need to make her feel special."

"I don't see the point…"

"The point is simple, to make her like you. You have to be especially considerate of how she dresses, how she looks and care about how her day went. And you always, always have to compliment her. And do not let the conversation turn boring. Here."

Like magic she produced a piece of paper from somewhere within her clothing, "I have listed few things Soi Fon Taichou likes. If you run out of things to talk about these are the things that will always, always pull her out of her miserable mood that she's constantly in."

He looked at the paper sceptically and as usual, frowned. "Cats? Bees?"

What was this? A date or some bizarre crap he had once again, never heard of?

Her grin widened. "Yes. You might just have to say the word, 'cat', and all you have to do is sit and watch."

"I thought the whole idea is to create a romantic date. I do not see how it's even possible if I have to use a list of conversation topics and have to receive… directions from you. I was married once. I know very well…"

"Once, decades ago, Kuchiki Taichou. And I bet, all you did was found a girl, asked her to marry her and that was that. Had you ever taken her out on a date?"

Did walking in the garden count? He wondered.

"And no, evening walks and flower watching don't count."

Did she just read his mind?

"And I do not need to read your mind to know what you're thinking. It's only been few days and I can tell just by looking how skilful you are at making a date suck."

His jaw tightened.

"Okay sorry," she shook her head, "that was out of line. Don't look that scary." She took in a deep breath and said, "Let's forget about all these. We'll go with the plan B."

He wanted to scream. How much more of this could he take? After sitting through this whole ordeal, there was now a plan B.

"Here," she shoved her hand inside her kosode and his gaze instantly focused there. He had promised himself, over and over, that no matter how much time he had to spend with her, sparring and practicing, or in this case, discussing his love life, or the lack of it, he was not going to pay any attention to things like ...her assets. It would only make him seem like an average men who pine after any woman who looked good. No matter how flashy she was, he was not interested, he was above such attractions.

He did wonder what she could hide under that piece of clothing that was threatening to fall off all on its own.

"This... is what we'll use to make your date with Soi Fon Taichou successful."

His eyes narrowed further.

"This is how we'll make sure you say and do the right thing."

On her palms rested two strange looking things. But that was not what his mind focused on.

"_We_?"

She grinned. "I can't leave you alone on your first date. I'm not that cruel."

He had a very bad feeling about this. "Is that necessary?" He asked.

Her dusty blue eyes held all the confidence in the world, "no. But you have to agree to let me do it anyway, remember? You owe me, Captain. You don't want your Zanpakutō locked up, do you?" She reminded him. "Besides, having me there will only make sure that the date goes smoothly. It's a win win for you." She stood up. "Enough pep talk for the day."

She turned to leave but stopped when she reached the door, "oh and about me being not an _enjoyable_ date, it's impossible. There is no way a date can go anyway 'bad' with me." She flashed a smile at him and left him looking at her dust.

...

Kuchiki Byakuya, in carefully picked clothes, skilfully groomed by his servants under the directions of an awfully good at bossing them around Matsumoto Rangiku, stood in front if the Sakura Petal at 5.55 pm, on a Saturday evening, breathing out cool air through his nostrils.

Her voice floated into his conscience with a question through the earpiece he wore on his right ear, the most crucial part of Rangiku's plan B, "Are you ready?"

Rangiku whispered through the microphone as she held the binocular to her eyes. She had packed a blanket, some popcorn and two bottles of sake (three if you count the flask tucked in her obi), and had parched herself on top of a building across the street with a good view of the occupants inside the restaurant.

The captain of the sixth squad, who never took any orders from anyone other than the captain commander, hid a frustrated sigh and nodded in compliance.

"Good. Good. I like how you avoided talking into the microphone because it would just look weird if you are standing in front of a restaurant talking to yourself."

He wanted to yell, his patience had been on strain lately with everything that she was putting him through, this was only skimming the top of it. After another hidden sigh, he made his way in and was directed towards his seat by a waitress who kept blushing and glancing at his direction.

It never should've surprised him to find that the reserved table for two was located in a secluded corner of the restaurant, bare to view for anyone who was looking in from the opposite side of the street.

He didn't have to wait long as the captain of the second division appeared soon, and like a storm she sat down with that natural scowl on her face.

He stood up politely and sat down when she did. "Good evening Soi Fon."

"Good evening."

After they were both seated, the waitress brought in wine and the menu. Just then, he pulled _it_ out of the pocket inside his haori, where Rangiku had carefully tucked it. If he didn't do this, her nagging voice in his head would have driven him insane.

"What the hell is this?" Soi fon scowled further, looking at his hand like he was holding a dead rat.

"A flower." he told the truth.

The answer seemed to have angered her further. "Really? No shit?"

His eyes narrowed at her audacity when Rangiku's next instruction interrupted his thoughts. "This is for you Soi Fon, to match your loveliness."

"My what?" She leaned forward, eyes becoming more and more suspicious by the minute. "Kuchiki. What's the deal with you?"

Deal? Kuchiki Byakuya didn't have a deal. He was suddenly annoyed by this woman in front of him, even more so than the other who was screaming in his head.

"Did I say something wrong?" He calmed his voice, ignoring other flirtatious dialects that was being suggested to him through that noisy piece of gadget inside his ear.

"No. I'm not that fond of flowers." she leaned back, crossing her arms. "And I never would've picked you for a flower kind of guy either."

"In that case..." he swiftly dropped the flower in a glass of water and pushed it aside. Her eyes widen in surprise.

"Huh!" She slowly ran her eyes from his head to toe before letting a faint approving smile skim her lips.

As the awkward silence fell between them, he tried to remember the list of topic Rangiku had handed him, and the said devil's voice rang inside his ears.

"I hope to have a lovely time with you tonight." He let the words out, with much struggle.

She regarded him in silence as for a moment she looked undecided about whether or not to go off at him.

"Why are you suddenly looking for a girlfriend, Kuchiki?" Her eyes narrowed, "I would've thought you'd let you family elders decide that future for you. Isn't that all nobles like us do?"

Byakuya stared at her blankly while Rangiku recited some lovely romantic words. He gave it his best, "because I want to love but not get married."

"No." Rangiku was sitting straight on her blanket, binoculars glued to her eyes and screaming out instructions, "I said, _love is what you're seeking, not a marriage of convenience or status_. Jesus, listen to me carefully."

"Are you telling me you're looking for a fling with no strings attached or a prospective future?" She was turning cranky again.

Rangiku could feel the sweat that was trickling down her spine, while Byakuya was barely effected. He had finally had enough of this voice inside his head. "Forgive me Soi Fon for a moment, I need to use the men's room. I have an unbearable itch and I can't get rid of it here."

Leaving her gaping after him, he swiftly walked at the end of the restaurant looking for the washroom. As soon as he had closed the door behind him, a flash of orange and gold made him spun around on his feet. Rangiku was snaking herself inside through the wide window.

This time he was at loss of words, "Lieutenant. This is the men's room."

She stomped towards him, disregarding his accusation and placed her hands on her waist angrily. "What the hell Kuchiki Taichou. Why didn't you listen to me?"

He was already at his breaking point, and to show it his voice rose a little, which was a tremendous change for him, "I do not need your instructions anymore lieutenant."

"Yes you do. I've never seen a date suck this much in my life." She let her hair go flying in every direction, as she shook her head violently. "You should've told her she looked lovely when I told you to say it."

"Why should I point out such trivial aspect of her feature? Wouldn't it be more flattering to compliment her captaincy skills? "

"No," she fumed, stepping even close to him, hands still on her hips, "this is not a work dinner captain. This is a romantic date."

"Even so, I fail to see the point of complimenting on her looks rather than her captaincy skill, where her true strength lies."

Her mouth dropped, "are you telling me, you think she's not pretty enough for you? Are you just as perverted like your Zanpakutō?"

"It matters to me not what you think lieutenant. This ends here." he reached for his earpiece and she jumped, grabbing his arm to pull it away from his ear.

"What is this..." he resisted, trying to get his arm away from her but she fought him.

"You're not taking that off." She threw herself at him, pulling on his arm.

"You do not give me orders lieutenant." He was finally at the end of his tethers, "if I want to take these off, I shall. And also, this is coming off too," he reached down and yanked the hidden microphone clipped on the fold of his haori and threw it away to the other side of the bathroom.

Her eyes failed to locate its position and she almost screamed in frustration, "You'll have this then…" she reached for her chest, where her own microphone was clipped in at the collar of her yukata.

Before she could pull it out he grabbed her wrist and stopped it. "Let me go..." she wiggled her hand, trying to loosen his grip.

"You're not imposing anymore of you worthless ideas on me lieutenant. " she tried to pulled his hand off hers by her other hand, but he grabbed it too, pushing it back against the wall of the stall they were standing next to, his eyes were burning in rage.

At that exact moment, the bathroom door flew open.

"This is the men's room Soi Fon Taichou, you shouldn't be..."

Two women at the door stared at them, mouth opened to variable sized gaps, demonstrating their speechlessness. And, given the state Rangiku and Byakuya were in, no one could blame the waitress who was serving him, and the captain who was supposedly dating him, for looking at them with the most astonished look in their eyes.

Her eyes ran over the two of them in the toilet. Rangiku with her back pushed against a stall, hair flying in every direction, her one hand clutching her own collar at her chest, wrist gripped tightly by him pulling it away and widening the opening her collar in the process. Her other hand was pinned against the wall next to her, also by him.

"An itch?" Soi Fon almost screamed, "This is the itch you couldn't scratch?"

No one could speak as slowly Rangiku's head turned and looked at the position both were frozen in.

They were close, very close, and the way his hands were gripping hers with her back against the stall wall, while towering on top of her, could be easily mistaken for something else.

"Soi fon Taichou… it's not what you..."

The death glare she shot at Rangiku left her mute, Byakuya had forgotten to move, being caught in this compromising position.

"Well," she strode inside and emptied the contents of her wine glass on his face before chewing out, "enjoy your no strings attached love, Kuchiki Byakuya. I'll consider this humiliation as a declaration of war. And never again, the second squad will provide any form of assistance to the sixth."

After she was gone, the waitress continued staring at them.

Rangiku cleared her throat and he was back. Hurriedly he jumped away and fixed his clothes.

Rangiku was quick to grab the waitress and pull her in the bathroom as well. After few more whispers, the girl left them and she turned to look at him. "I convinced her of keeping her mouth shut. So we won't have to worry about that getting out of hand."

"Getting out of hand?" He pressed down on his temple, tightening his jaw with so much struggle it almost popped the veins on his forehead, "getting wine splashed on my face and losing an ally in the Gotei 13 look like things hadn't gotten out of hand to you?"

Rangiku stood unaffected by his anger, then ran to the other side of the toilet to grab some paper towels. "Here," before he could once again react on time, she was wiping the liquid off his face with her own hands.

For the master of shunpo, he wondered how the hell he lacked so much quick thinking. Before he could come up with a dignified way to resist the woman, she had already dried his face and looked at him with a smile.

"There, all dried up. No one will ever know you had wine thrown on your face by a woman. Unless... I tell them." She winked.

He felt his arms going numb again, his anger forgotten at the back of his mind. Was she really a shinigami or some evil witch, always finding a way to leave him stuck in situation he would never get caught dead in?

"Now. We can't let the meal go to waste, can we?" She grabbed his hand and smiled like everything that had just happened here was nothing but a fragment of his imagination. "Let's go order a steak and some beer. You're paying."

Before he could stop her, he was dragged out of the bathroom and seated at the table he was supposed to have dinner with his date.

Throughout the next hour, he sat, listening to the woman and her stories involving gossips flashes that produced less than zero amount of interest in him, wondering what the hell he had ever done to deserve this fate.

...

_The Closet pervert Captain and his Concubine_

_– By Ayasegawa Yumichika, Seireitei's Number one Gossip columnist _

_It wasn't a surprise to find the notorious harlot of soul society, Matsumoto Rangiku, was once again the talk of the town by getting caught with yet another man's hand down her clothes. What did catch everyone's attention at the famous restaurant, the Sakura Petal last evening around 6.15 PM, was that the captain of the sixth squad, Kuchiki Byakuya, who had for decades so carefully saved himself from the clutches of desperate women hunting for illegible husbands, was the man attached to that hand. Sources say, the captain was shamelessly having his way with the lieutenant in the men's washroom, leaving his lovely date, the captain of the second division Soi Fon to herself, because she had refused to engage in an illicit relationship with him. _

_They say, the higher they rise, the harder they fall. This seems only too fitting of an analogy for the captain, whose fall from once high and mighty noble status down to the bottomless pit of the cleavage between Matsumoto Rangiku's terribly magnificent pair of… assets, was as hard as it can get (pun intended). As a consequence, the noble captain, who prided himself on his perfect etiquette, so carelessly and impolitely, neglected his beautiful date, who held higher morals, ethics, and self-respect to not succumb to her base desires. Soi Fon is an elegant noble woman, unlike the captain's 'toilet stall friend' Matsumoto Rangiku, she held her dignity dear to her heart and morals high above everything else..."_

At that point she had stopped reading the article published in the next day's gossip mag, as it became clear who leaked the story.

"We need to talk." She slammed the magazine on Byakuya's desk, before he had the chance to tell his subordinates to leave. One of them let out a giggle.

"You…" She snapped, "…have something to say? Say it?"

Everyone swallowed.

"Leave!" She yelled. Over her shoulder Byakuya nodded at them and they scurried away.

"Lieutenant." he took a deep breath, knowing what this visit was about, "I suggest you don't get worked up by such article. This can barely qualify to be called a piece of writing worth reading. It is purely a waste of time."

"Did you even read what he called you? I don't really care what they think of me, but you? I've never met anyone more decent than you." she shook her head to his surprize.

Before he could swallow the surprise, and calm her down she interrupted. "Enough talk. We need to find you a good girlfriend. Right now." She declared it with such passion, he found himself craving for his third cup of green tea of the morning.

"Now here's what we're going to do..." she leaned forward, anger had vanished from her face and a smile appeared, which consequently, dried his throat up even further. The last few days had taught one thing, any smile like that on her lips, could only mean one thing, more humiliating discomfort for him.

His instinct once again told him to leave, to get away, and cut the woman loose. But as she pulled herself up on his desk after moving aside his paperwork, trying to comfortably seat with her legs swinging next to him, he realised there was no escape route in front of him.

He looked down at the thick pile of paper she slammed down in front of him. "We start here..." she begun.

…

**Some reviews would be nice.**


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